Recieving Bad News

I noticed a weird pattern in my life this last weekend. When I receive bad news that directly affects me I first don't react. Than I start acting like a little witty jerk. My friend dies, family troubles, don't get leadership position, whatever it is. It's a good thing that I have a friend who will pray with me about it. Thank God for other believers. But really! It bothered me because I wasn't conscious of my attitude while I was being a jerk. I noticed after seeing the reaction of my friend's face after I made some perverse comment. Thank you Jeff! Part of the problem is I don't do super well with rejection. But neither do most human beings. I am just pissed at myself for not being conscious of my attitude. Usually my friend Lucas will tell me if I'm being a DB or not. Or Paxton maybe. Here's the thing though. I can deduce these actions to sin. My problem with sin is that I sickly love it while I'm doing it and hate it after. I would rather Obey God than have to ask for his Grace. Thank you Jesus for your Grace! I know I need God's Grace every single day but when I'm not conscious of sin that bothers me. Why can't I react to bad news righteously? Heck sometimes I don't even react to good news righteously (gloating/bragging). Now that I look back to all my bad news situations I follow up with this bitter attitude that really says F*&k You. Sorry for the language but that's my attitude. I have some apologizing to do. I'm sorry to the friends who had to deal with me not getting R.A. I'm sorry to the friends who had to deal with my attitude because of my family issues. I'm Sorry Jesus. Have mercy on me, a sinner.